Reflections In Hindsight

Grace in the Rearview Mirror…it's closer than it appears

  • Ephesians 4:29

    Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (NIV)

    **MATERIAL ON THIS SITE IS COPYRIGHT PROTECTED. For permission on reprints or reusing this material, please contact the individual authors. For sharing the actual post, please use the share buttons.

  • Blog Archives

  • Blog Stats

    • 91,978 hits
  • RSS April’s Blog: A Writer’s Journey

    • Evil Parents and Rotten Kids
      A-ZE is for Evil Parents and Rotten KidsI present you Jimmy Kimmel's annual "I Told My Kids I Ate All Their Halloween Candy" video montage. It's an artful mixture of cruelty, humor, and ghastly awe. My favorite is Drawer Boy. Now there's an ax murderer in the making.Which is your favorite?
      noreply@blogger.com (April Gardner)
  • RSS Barn Door Book Loft

    • Change Of Heart by Molly Jebber
      Ohio, 1899.  Soft-spoken midwife Becca Yost lived by her Amish faith's strict rules—until her fiancé jilted her before their entire community. She's never been away from home, but the bustling Englischer town of Massillon, Ohio, is a welcome unexpected refuge. Especially when she goes to work for Dr. Matt Carrington, who shares her passion for heal […]
    • A Warm Welcome To Ann Mock
      Is there a story behind your book [The Union of the North and the South]?Twenty years ago I visited a Southern mansion in Vicksburg, Mississippi, that had survived the War Between the States because it had been used as a hospital for wounded soldiers.  I was fascinated by a Union cannonball that was still lodged in the door frame over a century later.  This […]
    • The Union of the North and the South by Ann Mock
      Back Cover Blurb:Romance and suspense come alive in this uplifting Christian novel set in the South in the 1870s.The reader will fall in love with the intriguing story of Laura who overcomes personal tragedy, and is forced to hide a secret that, if revealed, will cause her great heartache. Amidst the revitalized social scene of a South recovering from the Wa […]
  • RSS Clash of the Titles

    • Sizzling Summer Champ
      I know, technically Summer just Started, but...Thank you all for participating in our special May releases Clash of the TitlesWe appreciate the efforts of all of our fans, and particularly our authors this month,   Rachel James      Jennifer Rodewald          Heather Day Gilbertand                  Sarah Loudin Thomas~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ […]
    • It's a New Sizzling Summer Reading Clash of the Titles!
      Looking for some awesome take-me-away Summer Reading?Check out these new releases and I dare you to tell me which one you'd put on the top of your reading list. We offer contemporary and historical romance, a little fantasy, danger, mystery, suspense!Vote for your next most likely read, and leave the author a word of encouragement,then share with your f […]
    • Spotlight on: Diamonds or Donuts by Lucie Ulrich
      by: Michelle MassaroGood morning! I'm very excited to have Lucie Ulrich with us here today to tell us about her new release, Diamonds or Donuts. First, isn't this such a fun cover? Wow!Blurb:Sarah Alexander’s marriage to millionaire Logan Montgomery is put on hold when Logan is offered the opportunity to go on an extended archeological dig in Egypt […]
  • RSS Little Bits Blog

    • Chloe's Decision 
      As I stated last week, November is NANOWRIMO. I'm working on the next Stones Creek novel. It's the story of Chloe, Noah Preston's sister. She comes to Stones Creek with her two children. If you would like to read her pre-story simply subscribe to Sophie's Special Emails. No more than twice a month will you receive an email with special co […]
    • Remembering Fudgsicles
      It is November and thus NANOWRIMO, National Novel Writing Month. The challenge is to begin a novel and write 50,000 words during the month. Since this occupies most of my focus for these four weeks I will be reposting previous articles each week this month. Fudgsicles, how long has it been since I’ve had a fudgsicle? I’m not sure, but they came to mind when […]
    • Are You Teachable?
      What? You think you know everything? I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news but no one knows everything. Oh, there is one, Hashem. He's omniscient. But no one else is. Even Yeshua (Jesus) isn't. He doesn't know the hour or day he will come again. Some people rejoice in learning something new. I tend to be one of those people. I read about […]
  • RSS Living Our Faith Out Loud

    • Penelope Marzec and Patriot's Pride historical fiction
      Margaret, the heroine of Patriot’s Pride, first appeared as the indomitable younger sister of Agnes in Patriot’s Heart. Margaret and her pet pig, Jonas, stole many scenes in Patriot’s Heart. I knew I had to give Margaret her own book and I am delighted I was able to do so.One fact, which initially inspired me to write the book, was the impressment of America […]
    • New Novella by Canadian Fav Sharon McGregor
      Fiona’s Knight of DreamsSharon McGregorJune 2015 Prism Book GroupHistorical romantic novellaAmazon Kindle.99 The good ladies of Timber are ready to find a wife for their new single minister. Charles has ideas of his own when he meets Fiona, the lovely accident-prone and outspoken part-time librarian. Fiona, on the other hand is holding out for a knight on a […]
    • Grab a summer read: On a Summer Night by Diane Dean White
      Kate and Vanessa hadn't planned on the summer night that changed their lives. Could they have imagined the darkness that descended and how gripping fear could be? The beauty and sweeping moss, gentle palm trees and Florida breezes was wrapped with the memory of that awful evening. Time steals away from the 60s, Kate and her husband return to the winter […]
  • RSS Nearly Brilliant

    • Book Review: Swept Away (Trouble in texas Book 1) by Mary Connealy
      Ruthy MacNeil is rescued by Luke Stone after she nearly drowns fording a flooded river with a wagon train. Her step family doesn’t survive and she is finally free of their mistreatment. Luke surived the horrific ordeal as a prisoner of war in notorious Anderson prison during the civil war, only to learn that his father has been killed and the family ranch st […]
    • Book Review of Everything She Ever Wanted by Ann Rule
      When Pat Taylor wed Tom Allanson he had no way of knowing it would destroy his life in just a matter of weeksIn fact, Pat destroyed a lot of people’s lives. The attractive Southern belle was spoiled by her mother and she expected to live a lavish lifestyle at any cost. Nobody crosses Pat who was fascinated with Scarlett O’Hara. Pat could pour on the charm, b […]
    • Book Review of Ruby, Dakotah Treasures by Lorraine Snelling
      Ruby’s had to be grown up ever since her mom died when Ruby was just a girl  and Ruby has not only been in charge of the care of her little sister but has been a Nanny to several other children. When she receives word her father is dying out west, she and her little sister Opal, venture west to Little Missouri (also called Little Misery by its residents.)  T […]
  • BLOG NEWS

    Thank you for your encouragement and support for the past three years. We've had fun connecting with you and hope you've found useful material here on Reflections. And here's the but... Reflections In Hindsight is closing on December 21, 2012. Elaine and Sophie and I can be found over at http://authorculture.blogspot.com; April can be found at Clash of the Titles, http://www.clashofthetitles, http://www.aprilgardner.com and watch for news for more novels from her!; Janet is ever-present on the Internet with her very special words of wisdom and grace at http://www.janetperezeckles.com, and Luther--who knows where he'll show up next, but I'd watch my back if I were you... Book Reviews are always important, so I, Lisa, will continue to offer them through my blog, as well as those promotions for your new books or book launches, or your news.
  • Second Monday: Sophie Dawson

  • Tuesdays – Promotion in Motion

  • Wednesdays: Life of a Writer – April & Positivity – Lisa Lickel

  • Thursdays – Luther’s on board

  • Fridays – Revolutionary Faith, Devotions by Elaine

  • Saturdays – Janet Perez Eckles

  • Sunday – Reflections Book Reviews

  • Blog Authors

  • The Barn Door

  • The Barn Door Book Loft. Free Books! Book Giveaways.

  • John 3:16 Marketing Network widget and many other great free widgets at Widgetbox! Not seeing a widget? (More info)>

Let’s Chat

Posted by April W Gardner on August 8, 2012

Take a moment to stop and think of someone in your life that is truly a delight to talk with. Mind you, I didn’t say “listen to” or “talk to”, I said “talk with.” This someone might not necessarily be your spouse or even your best friend. He or she might be a person at church, or work that you look forward to. Coming up with someone is easy, but have you thought about how pleasant or unpleasant it might be to talk to you?

Proverbs 16:23 The heart of the wise teacheth his mouth, and addeth learning to his lips.

There are a lot of things about a person that makes us want to be around them or avoid them, but one of the main ones is how they talk and what they talk about. How well can you answer these questions?

 
1. What is your favorite topic of conversation?
This is usually the area that needs to be tweaked the most, mainly because everyone’s favorite topic of conversation is himself. Our sin nature automatically makes every one of us self-absorbed. It rears its ugly head most often when we talk. We want to talk about what we do, think, how we feel.
Do the comments from the person you’re talking to simply remind you of something else you can say about what’s happening in your life? Do you impatiently wait for the other person to quit talking so you can steer the path back to yourself? Worse yet, do you interrupt? Proverbs 17:27-28 He that hath knowledge spareth his words; and a man of understanding is of an excellent spirit. Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise; and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.
Want a challenge? The next time you’re at church or work, pick someone you don’t normally interact with and approach them with the intention of talking solely about them. Try your best not to refer to yourself in the conversation. I won’t lie. It’s not easy, but it’s so rewarding! Phillipians 2:3-5 Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus.

2. Do you actively listen?
Have you ever attentively listened to a woman talk for a few minutes, but when it’s time for you to add your two cents, suddenly she’s concerned with her kids or something else distracting? This is a woman that has not learned to be an active listener. Active listening involves being able to comment or ask questions about what the person has just said. It means looking at them while they talk, nodding, saying “I see,” “how interesting,” and anything else that shows you’re listening. If you’re not practicing this, it tells other people that only what you say is important enough to listen to.


3. Can you play tennis with your words?
A healthy conversation includes both/all parties equally. Usually when there’s a problem with the “game,” the tennis ball is hogged by someone monopolizing the conversation. It takes skill to listen and at the same time be thinking of a comment and question to maintain a healthy interchange. Just like typing, knitting, or golf, for most it takes lots of practice to become a selfless, fluid, and confident conversationalist.
A tip to keep the tennis match going is to end every comment with a specific question—one they can’t answer with a simple “yes” or “no”. Put the ball back in their court. Proverbs 20:15 There is gold, and a multitude of rubies; but the lips of knowledge are a precious jewel.
Think of how wonderful it feels to be asked, “Did you make it to that appointment on time?” or “You look a bit discouraged today. Is there something you’d like to talk about?”t
Asking questions shows that you care, that you’ve thought of them throughout the week, that you were listening the last time you talked.
Work on these three areas, and you’ll have improved your ability to carry a well-balanced conversation. Better yet, you’ll be more like Christ. Ephesians 2:10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

April W Gardner is a multi-published author

and the senior editor of the literary site, Clash of the Titles. 

*The Conversation by artist Arnold Lakhovsky —This image (or other media file) is in the public domain because its copyright has expired.

*Tennis pix–Attribution: Vladsinger at en.wikipedia

4 Responses to “Let’s Chat”

  1. Excellent post, April! I’ll never forget sessions in Nursing School on “Therapeutic Listening.” It involved totally engaging with another person to really listen, rephrase back to them what you had just heard so that you could be sure you were “getting” their message, and totally focusing on their needs. It was a real eye-opener, and a lesson in how self-centered our conversations can be when all we’re doing is waiting for an opportunity to express our OWN thoughts! Great words of wisdom, backed up by great verses. :)

    • That’s really neat, Elaine, that they would actually teach a class on this in nursing school. Love the “repeat back” bit. Another great practice to work on!

  2. Excellent! I’m doing the senses post on Listening vs. Hearing next week, and everything really does work together.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

 
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,246 other followers

%d bloggers like this: