Reflections In Hindsight

Grace in the Rearview Mirror…it's closer than it appears

  • Ephesians 4:29

    Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (NIV)

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    Thank you for your encouragement and support for the past three years. We've had fun connecting with you and hope you've found useful material here on Reflections. And here's the but... Reflections In Hindsight is closing on December 21, 2012. Elaine and Sophie and I can be found over at; April can be found at Clash of the Titles, http://www.clashofthetitles, and watch for news for more novels from her!; Janet is ever-present on the Internet with her very special words of wisdom and grace at, and Luther--who knows where he'll show up next, but I'd watch my back if I were you... Book Reviews are always important, so I, Lisa, will continue to offer them through my blog, as well as those promotions for your new books or book launches, or your news.
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Am I High-Maintanence? Are You?

Posted by April W Gardner on September 22, 2010

I recently read a blurb about a woman who was shocked to realize that her husband found her to be high-maintenance. He pointed out that their shower was lined with, soaps, scrubs, high priced shampoos and conditioners, luffas, and bath salts—all in a variety of scents. Hands and feet always professionally manicured, she never missed an appointment to touch up her acrylic nails. Only the best hairdressers trimmed and colored her hair, and never, never did she go a day without washing and styling.

“Accessories make the outfit,” she always said, and her overflowing jewelry box, shoe rack, and purse shelf proved it. Her closet was trimmed with only the latest in fashion, and the highlight of her week was a full body massage with hot stone therapy.

It was a humorous account and maybe a little extreme, but it really got me to thinking about myself and whether or not I’m high-maintenance. Hmm…I don’t know. What about you? We can probably all relate with this woman to some degree. I know I can, but the question here is—is it wrong? Is it wrong to want to look your very best and to put time and money into doing it? What if we just want to be comfortable and don’t care about fashion? Does that in any way cast us, as Christians, in a bad light?

Do you feel guilty every time you spend money on yourself, because there are others in the world that live in poverty? Or because there are a dozen other things your own family needs more than you “need” those cute earrings? Is it a good old-fashioned God-induced conscience pricking or an overactive guilt trigger?

Maybe you don’t give a second’s thought to starving babies in other countries. You simply stack your new cosmetics on your vanity, hit play on your cd changer to add a little ambience, and huff in dissatisfaction because you forgot to buy berry colored lip-liner—mauve simply won’t go with your outfit today. Drat life’s inconveniences!

The other extreme, can be just as shocking. Picture Betty from the television series, Ugly Betty. If you’re like Betty, your motto is “comfort over fashion” and the more broken-in those sweats, the better. You’ll hang onto a pair of out-dated, scuffed-up shoes for years, because why in the name of common sense would you spend $50 on a new pair when these still have countless miles left in them?

I’ve come to realize that both extremes are an indication of an unhealthy perspective on how God sees me. I seem to find a trend in where I am spiritually compared to where I think I need to be physically—on the exterior. Do you think that if we were truly at peace with how God made us (in every sense of the word), we wouldn’t feel the need to primp and fuss over our shells? And what of remembering who we represent? If you’re a child of God, you’re part of the body of Christ. Every aspect of our lives should reflect Him, including our shoes.

So, where do you fall on the graph? Yes, we certainly need to “add a little paint to the old barn” as the saying goes, but to what extreme should we take it? I think you already know. Everything in moderation, right? Yep, including this. “All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not.” (1Cor. 10:23) That being said, every woman’s “moderation” is different from the next. So pray about where God would have you make changes.

We all could use a little work in this area, whether you’re a hater or lover of all things cosmetic. As always, balance is key. Can you imagine where we would be in our Christian walk if we put as much time on the inside as we did on the outside? Just a thought.

~April W Gardner

One Response to “Am I High-Maintanence? Are You?”

  1. Jen S. said

    Great, balanced post, April! Thanks.

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