Reflections In Hindsight

Grace in the Rearview Mirror…it's closer than it appears

  • Ephesians 4:29

    Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (NIV)

    **MATERIAL ON THIS SITE IS COPYRIGHT PROTECTED. For permission on reprints or reusing this material, please contact the individual authors. For sharing the actual post, please use the share buttons.

  • Blog Archives

  • Blog Stats

    • 87,096 hits
  • RSS April’s Blog: A Writer’s Journey

    • Bricks of Savannah
      B is for Bricks of SavannahSavannah is a short 2.5-hour drive from home, but it took us five years to make it there. Five years! Unthinkable. The bricks.Savannah has been around since 1773, making it the oldest city in Georgia. History oozes from its varied buildings and twenty-four squares--most of them constructed with bricks and dusted with centuries of s […]
      noreply@blogger.com (April Gardner)
  • RSS Barn Door Book Loft

    • A Ghost's Story: Caught Between Life and Death by David Royce
      While out for a run one morning, Jake Weller suffers a critical heart attack triggering a trip to the morgue and what seems to be a near-death experience. But he’s actually dead. The problem is he doesn’t feel dead. He can still experience the world as before only he can’t be seen or heard. Coming to terms with this new reality, he meets an enigmatic—and cha […]
    • Featuring Raelee May Carpenter's Kings and Shepherds
      Back Cover BlurbAfter the death of her mother, Princess Ikia of Ha-or rebels against her adoptive father, King Emet. Her crusade against him starts simply but quickly grows dangerous when she agrees to betray him to the Emperor of the neighboring kingdom.Book Excerpt:Prologue: The King-   Hundreds of people – all who had left their shoes at the door, for She […]
    • Please Welcome Christian Author Raelee May Carpenter
      Welcome to the Barn Door Book Loft Raelee.Is there a story behind your book Kings and Shepherds? A band called Plankeye put out this song years ago called “Whisper To Me,” and one day I was listening to it for like the thousandth time when line, “I watched eternity collide to bring you to Me” hit me like a MAC truck.At that moment, I saw my place in the univ […]
  • RSS Clash of the Titles

    • ANNOUNCING THE LAUREL FINALISTS!
      The entries have been read and the scores have been tallied. Our unique panel of judges, comprised strictly of readers, has determined our three finalists. And they are…Ruth Reid's A Miracle of HopeJune Foster's Deliver UsCarole Brown's The Redemption of Caralynne HaymanCongratulations to all three!!(Of special note, this is Ruth's second […]
    • Winner of the August New Releases Clash
      Thanks to all of our participants for their wonderful submissions. Congratulations to Our Winner!   Having his younger sister at camp was a pain, but Taylor Dixon never expected the pain to go so deep. At 15, Taylor dreams of getting his driver’s license and driving racecars when he’s older. Only his younger sister, Marissa, believes in his dreams, but her […]
    • August New Releases Clash
      Clash of the Titles presents four brand new inspirational novels. One’s set in a Bible camp for tweens or the tweens in your lives. Hopes and dreams are threatened in another. In the third, a town’s in need of a miracle. Two people work to cure a deadly disease in the fourth. Which one will you read first? Browse the books, then, using the voting box below, […]
  • RSS Little Bits Blog

    • 12 Reasons to Live in a Small Town
      Living in small towns has special challenges and delights. When I say ‘small’ I mean ‘small’. The town I live near has approximately 250 people. The county seat has 3600 and the county has about 16,000. So this is rural America. You might think this county was in the western states where the population is lower and space is not a problem. No, I live in Illin […]
    • A Slave Of God
      I am a slave of Yaweh. We shy away from the concept, and understandably so, given the history of slavery here is the US.  I am one, however, and proud to declare it. As a believer in Christ, I have been paid for by Yeshua through his death and resurrection.  Thus, he owns me and I am his slave. Paul, Timothy and James, the brother of Christ, all claimed it. […]
    • What Is Your Ambition?
      Often people will wonder what God's will for their life is. Paul told us in 1 Thess. 4:11 and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life and attend to your own business and work with your hands, just as we commanded you.We make it so complicated. It's simple really. Keep your life simple. Keep your nose out of others business (translation; don […]
  • RSS Living Our Faith Out Loud

    • Equanimity: The Spirit Within by Samuel D. Bartoli
      Equanimity: The Spirit Within by Samuel D. BartoliMemoir, Self-helpHalo Publishing International  January 2014 Buy on Amazonand Barnes & Noble.About the Book:Equanimity: The Spirit Within is a story about a man’s search for meaning as he comes to terms with losing everything that he knew and valued. After winning the 1992 Southern California Middleweight […]
    • Girls Night Out Mingle with the Authors Nov 20 in West Bend
      That's right!All kinds of give-aways...door prizesWine-tastingcheeseflavored olive oil dipsromance books!All In BooksGIRLS NIGHT OUT!!! at All In Books 910 S. Main Street West BendMINGLE WITH THE AUTHORS Lisa Lickel and Nicolette PierceThursday November 20th After Hours: 6:30 PM $15 a person Tickets available at All In Books or pay button below - no Pay […]
    • Book Review Gabriel by Jayna Morrow
      Gabriel Jayna Morrowc. 2014Prism Book GroupISBN: 978-1940099453Price 3.9911.99buy on Amazonbuy on Barnes and NobleTexas RomanceGabriel Hearth, the title character, has some serious relationship troubles. From the opening scene of being left at the altar to the realization that this is not his first failed attempt at romance, the reader is carried along on a […]
  • RSS Nearly Brilliant

    • BOOK REVIEW: UNDERTOW BY DESMOND CORY
      This is my first introduction to Desmond Cory and his British Intelligence man Johnny Fedora. Cory is known for these spy novels among other written works. The first Fedora novel made its debut in 1951  and the character actually predates the first James Bond book by about three years I believe. I have never read a James Bond novel but have watched the movie […]
    • BOOK REVIEW: MY TEMPORARY LIFE BY MARTIN CROSBIE
      A sensitive coming of age story of Malcom Wilson who is shuttled between divorced parents. He lives part of his time in Canada with his promiscuous mother and the other half in Scotland with his hard working, tough father.Along the way Wilson learns how to survive and make the best of his situation no matter how hard and also what it means to experience kind […]
    • BOOK REVIEW: THE RIGHT INGREDIENTS BY NANCY BOLTON
      This romance will make your taste buds water. Ann co-owns and runs a local bakery but the long hours and hectic pace leave her little time for any kind of life. She’s also an introvert with little experience with dating. When Tom literally walks in one day and saves the day, they are immediately drawn to each other. He’s a single widowed dad with a charming […]
  • BLOG NEWS

    Thank you for your encouragement and support for the past three years. We've had fun connecting with you and hope you've found useful material here on Reflections. And here's the but... Reflections In Hindsight is closing on December 21, 2012. Elaine and Sophie and I can be found over at http://authorculture.blogspot.com; April can be found at Clash of the Titles, http://www.clashofthetitles, http://www.aprilgardner.com and watch for news for more novels from her!; Janet is ever-present on the Internet with her very special words of wisdom and grace at http://www.janetperezeckles.com, and Luther--who knows where he'll show up next, but I'd watch my back if I were you... Book Reviews are always important, so I, Lisa, will continue to offer them through my blog, as well as those promotions for your new books or book launches, or your news.
  • Second Monday: Sophie Dawson

  • Tuesdays – Promotion in Motion

  • Wednesdays: Life of a Writer – April & Positivity – Lisa Lickel

  • Thursdays – Luther’s on board

  • Fridays – Revolutionary Faith, Devotions by Elaine

  • Saturdays – Janet Perez Eckles

  • Sunday – Reflections Book Reviews

  • Blog Authors

  • The Barn Door

  • The Barn Door Book Loft. Free Books! Book Giveaways.

  • John 3:16 Marketing Network widget and many other great free widgets at Widgetbox! Not seeing a widget? (More info)>

Let’s Chat

Posted by April W Gardner on August 8, 2012

Take a moment to stop and think of someone in your life that is truly a delight to talk with. Mind you, I didn’t say “listen to” or “talk to”, I said “talk with.” This someone might not necessarily be your spouse or even your best friend. He or she might be a person at church, or work that you look forward to. Coming up with someone is easy, but have you thought about how pleasant or unpleasant it might be to talk to you?

Proverbs 16:23 The heart of the wise teacheth his mouth, and addeth learning to his lips.

There are a lot of things about a person that makes us want to be around them or avoid them, but one of the main ones is how they talk and what they talk about. How well can you answer these questions?

 
1. What is your favorite topic of conversation?
This is usually the area that needs to be tweaked the most, mainly because everyone’s favorite topic of conversation is himself. Our sin nature automatically makes every one of us self-absorbed. It rears its ugly head most often when we talk. We want to talk about what we do, think, how we feel.
Do the comments from the person you’re talking to simply remind you of something else you can say about what’s happening in your life? Do you impatiently wait for the other person to quit talking so you can steer the path back to yourself? Worse yet, do you interrupt? Proverbs 17:27-28 He that hath knowledge spareth his words; and a man of understanding is of an excellent spirit. Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise; and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.
Want a challenge? The next time you’re at church or work, pick someone you don’t normally interact with and approach them with the intention of talking solely about them. Try your best not to refer to yourself in the conversation. I won’t lie. It’s not easy, but it’s so rewarding! Phillipians 2:3-5 Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus.

2. Do you actively listen?
Have you ever attentively listened to a woman talk for a few minutes, but when it’s time for you to add your two cents, suddenly she’s concerned with her kids or something else distracting? This is a woman that has not learned to be an active listener. Active listening involves being able to comment or ask questions about what the person has just said. It means looking at them while they talk, nodding, saying “I see,” “how interesting,” and anything else that shows you’re listening. If you’re not practicing this, it tells other people that only what you say is important enough to listen to.


3. Can you play tennis with your words?
A healthy conversation includes both/all parties equally. Usually when there’s a problem with the “game,” the tennis ball is hogged by someone monopolizing the conversation. It takes skill to listen and at the same time be thinking of a comment and question to maintain a healthy interchange. Just like typing, knitting, or golf, for most it takes lots of practice to become a selfless, fluid, and confident conversationalist.
A tip to keep the tennis match going is to end every comment with a specific question—one they can’t answer with a simple “yes” or “no”. Put the ball back in their court. Proverbs 20:15 There is gold, and a multitude of rubies; but the lips of knowledge are a precious jewel.
Think of how wonderful it feels to be asked, “Did you make it to that appointment on time?” or “You look a bit discouraged today. Is there something you’d like to talk about?”t
Asking questions shows that you care, that you’ve thought of them throughout the week, that you were listening the last time you talked.
Work on these three areas, and you’ll have improved your ability to carry a well-balanced conversation. Better yet, you’ll be more like Christ. Ephesians 2:10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

April W Gardner is a multi-published author

and the senior editor of the literary site, Clash of the Titles. 

*The Conversation by artist Arnold Lakhovsky –This image (or other media file) is in the public domain because its copyright has expired.

*Tennis pix–Attribution: Vladsinger at en.wikipedia

About these ads

4 Responses to “Let’s Chat”

  1. Excellent post, April! I’ll never forget sessions in Nursing School on “Therapeutic Listening.” It involved totally engaging with another person to really listen, rephrase back to them what you had just heard so that you could be sure you were “getting” their message, and totally focusing on their needs. It was a real eye-opener, and a lesson in how self-centered our conversations can be when all we’re doing is waiting for an opportunity to express our OWN thoughts! Great words of wisdom, backed up by great verses. :)

    • That’s really neat, Elaine, that they would actually teach a class on this in nursing school. Love the “repeat back” bit. Another great practice to work on!

  2. Excellent! I’m doing the senses post on Listening vs. Hearing next week, and everything really does work together.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

 
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,246 other followers

%d bloggers like this: