Reflections In Hindsight

Grace in the Rearview Mirror…it's closer than it appears

  • Ephesians 4:29

    Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (NIV)

    **MATERIAL ON THIS SITE IS COPYRIGHT PROTECTED. For permission on reprints or reusing this material, please contact the individual authors. For sharing the actual post, please use the share buttons.

  • Blog Archives

  • Blog Stats

    • 86,318 hits
  • RSS April’s Blog: A Writer’s Journey

    • Cinema Saturday-- The 41 Most Unexpected Cat Jumps of All Time
      Why do jumping cats freak us out so much? And why do we laugh so hard at people who are freaking out?I'm one of those awkward laughers--someone who laughs at inappropriate times, such as when my husband does the splits on an icy sidewalk or when my child runs smack-dab into a doorpost. Unfortunately, compassion is not my go-to emotion. I do eventually f […]
      noreply@blogger.com (April Gardner)
  • RSS Barn Door Book Loft

    • A Warm Welcome to Caryl McAdoo
      It's a pleasure to welcome Caryl to our blog today! She lives an interesting life, and it's no wonder this book is historical! Tell us, Carol . . .Is there a story behind HEARTS STOLEN? The stories (plural) behind HEARTS STOLEN came from the fascinating research of the Republic of Texas’ early days. The captivating history of the Texas Rangers, whi […]
    • Heart Stolen by Caryl McAdoo
      Back Cover Blurb:Unbeknownst to loved ones, a headstrong young wife is snatched off the prairie by two Comanche braves, carried north of the Red River, and traded to their war chief for ponies. After five years, a small detail of Texas Rangers rides into camp, and she determines that day will bring freedom or death. She’ll remain captive no more.Sassy Nighte […]
    • Creighton's Hideaway by LoRee Peery
      Needing to finish her thesis in order to keep her job working with youth in a residential treatment center, Shana Arnold sequesters herself on Creighton Rice’s Nebraska ranch. She expects the secluded hideaway to provide a peaceful environment. What she doesn't expect is to become the victim of identity theft and a crazed home invader.Creighton Rice has […]
  • RSS Clash of the Titles

    • An error has occurred; the feed is probably down. Try again later.
  • RSS Little Bits Blog

    • Something Special This Way Comes
      Summer is over. Time to get back to writing and creating. Now is the time for me to develop new and exciting (hopefully) aspects to my live as an author. So... the new things I am adding are Sophie's Special Emails and Christian Author Interviews Podcast. Sophie's Special Emails - This will be a newsletter that goes out about once every two weeks. […]
    • A Lifetime of Sewing
      I learned to sew at the age of eight. We went on a three week vacation to Connecticut to visit family. Along the way we traveled to different sites. I remember Niagara Falls and Sault Ste. Marie as well as my aunt, uncle, and cousins but that's about it. We traveled in a green station wagon. Mom, Dad, me, my sister, Cheryl, and brother Dave. She was 10 […]
    • So I'm Back And Writing
      It is now September. One more day of hot weather. I drained the pool today. There are tomatoes needing canning. I'm starting blogging again today. I took two months off to enjoy the summer and spend more time with my granddaughter. I did just that. Now it's time to regularly post my ever inspiring thoughts and ... whatever. Okay, so my not so inspi […]
  • RSS Living Our Faith Out Loud

    • Book Review: Trevelyan by Naomi Musch
      TrevelyanNaomi Musch      Publisher: Desert Breeze Publishing, Inc. (May 21, 2014)     ASIN: B00KI26HKW4.99, 10.95 printBuy on AmazonFrom the publisher: Five men and two Elven princes have embarked upon a quest: to save a sister from the wasteland of the Great Winter where she is held in the clutches of a Monster Lord who all believe brought desecration and […]
    • Lisa Lickel's Last Detail Book Giveaway September 11-13
      Join me for my birthday celebration and enter to win a print version of The Last Detail. .goodreadsGiveawayWidget { color: #555; font-family: georgia, serif; font-weight: normal; text-align: left; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; background: white; } .goodreadsGiveawayWidget img { padding: 0 !important; margin: 0 !important; } .goodreadsGiveawayWidget a […]
    • Meet My Character, Grace Runyon
      Meet My Character Sweet romance author Gail Pallotta has some thoughtful questions about my character, Grace Runyon, who is the heroine in Healing Grace, a paranormal inspirational romance. Before I tell you about Grace, let's talk a little about Gail, and her great teen mystery, Stopped Cold. About Gail:Award-winning author Gail Pallotta is a wife, Mom […]
  • RSS Nearly Brilliant

    • Book Release and Giveaway: Hush in the Storm by Julie Cosgrove
      Author Julie Cosgrove is giving away two electronic copies of her new book Hush in the Storm. To quality, leave a comment at the end of this blog stating why you would like to win this book. Below is Julie's author bio and a book blurb. Thanks Julie for sharing you book with us. The book drawing will be on 9/25/14.Book Blurb:  Jen, a young widow flounde […]
    • Book Review: Claire’s Not So Gothic Romance by Bonnie Blythe
      Claire is a shy, plain girl who works at a florist, lives with her mom and loves Jane Eyre. When she has a minor accident while delivering flowers she ends up in the hospital and meets up with Sam. The attractive male is captivated by her. For Claire it’s too good to be true. Sam is a nice guy who admits he has a past but has cleaned up his act. When that pa […]
    • Book Review: The Ransom by MaryLu Tyndall
      The Ransom centers on Juliana Dutton who is trying desperately to keep her household from the brink of ruin. She runs her father’s shipping business in Jamaica in 1692 while he is gravely ill, keeping his condition  a secret so as not to run the risk of losing all his clients. But she cannot shake off her troubles including a brother who is a wastrel and a p […]
  • BLOG NEWS

    Thank you for your encouragement and support for the past three years. We've had fun connecting with you and hope you've found useful material here on Reflections. And here's the but... Reflections In Hindsight is closing on December 21, 2012. Elaine and Sophie and I can be found over at http://authorculture.blogspot.com; April can be found at Clash of the Titles, http://www.clashofthetitles, http://www.aprilgardner.com and watch for news for more novels from her!; Janet is ever-present on the Internet with her very special words of wisdom and grace at http://www.janetperezeckles.com, and Luther--who knows where he'll show up next, but I'd watch my back if I were you... Book Reviews are always important, so I, Lisa, will continue to offer them through my blog, as well as those promotions for your new books or book launches, or your news.
  • Second Monday: Sophie Dawson

  • Tuesdays – Promotion in Motion

  • Wednesdays: Life of a Writer – April & Positivity – Lisa Lickel

  • Thursdays – Luther’s on board

  • Fridays – Revolutionary Faith, Devotions by Elaine

  • Saturdays – Janet Perez Eckles

  • Sunday – Reflections Book Reviews

  • Blog Authors

  • The Barn Door

  • The Barn Door Book Loft. Free Books! Book Giveaways.

  • John 3:16 Marketing Network widget and many other great free widgets at Widgetbox! Not seeing a widget? (More info)>

Let’s Chat

Posted by April W Gardner on August 8, 2012

Take a moment to stop and think of someone in your life that is truly a delight to talk with. Mind you, I didn’t say “listen to” or “talk to”, I said “talk with.” This someone might not necessarily be your spouse or even your best friend. He or she might be a person at church, or work that you look forward to. Coming up with someone is easy, but have you thought about how pleasant or unpleasant it might be to talk to you?

Proverbs 16:23 The heart of the wise teacheth his mouth, and addeth learning to his lips.

There are a lot of things about a person that makes us want to be around them or avoid them, but one of the main ones is how they talk and what they talk about. How well can you answer these questions?

 
1. What is your favorite topic of conversation?
This is usually the area that needs to be tweaked the most, mainly because everyone’s favorite topic of conversation is himself. Our sin nature automatically makes every one of us self-absorbed. It rears its ugly head most often when we talk. We want to talk about what we do, think, how we feel.
Do the comments from the person you’re talking to simply remind you of something else you can say about what’s happening in your life? Do you impatiently wait for the other person to quit talking so you can steer the path back to yourself? Worse yet, do you interrupt? Proverbs 17:27-28 He that hath knowledge spareth his words; and a man of understanding is of an excellent spirit. Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise; and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.
Want a challenge? The next time you’re at church or work, pick someone you don’t normally interact with and approach them with the intention of talking solely about them. Try your best not to refer to yourself in the conversation. I won’t lie. It’s not easy, but it’s so rewarding! Phillipians 2:3-5 Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus.

2. Do you actively listen?
Have you ever attentively listened to a woman talk for a few minutes, but when it’s time for you to add your two cents, suddenly she’s concerned with her kids or something else distracting? This is a woman that has not learned to be an active listener. Active listening involves being able to comment or ask questions about what the person has just said. It means looking at them while they talk, nodding, saying “I see,” “how interesting,” and anything else that shows you’re listening. If you’re not practicing this, it tells other people that only what you say is important enough to listen to.


3. Can you play tennis with your words?
A healthy conversation includes both/all parties equally. Usually when there’s a problem with the “game,” the tennis ball is hogged by someone monopolizing the conversation. It takes skill to listen and at the same time be thinking of a comment and question to maintain a healthy interchange. Just like typing, knitting, or golf, for most it takes lots of practice to become a selfless, fluid, and confident conversationalist.
A tip to keep the tennis match going is to end every comment with a specific question—one they can’t answer with a simple “yes” or “no”. Put the ball back in their court. Proverbs 20:15 There is gold, and a multitude of rubies; but the lips of knowledge are a precious jewel.
Think of how wonderful it feels to be asked, “Did you make it to that appointment on time?” or “You look a bit discouraged today. Is there something you’d like to talk about?”t
Asking questions shows that you care, that you’ve thought of them throughout the week, that you were listening the last time you talked.
Work on these three areas, and you’ll have improved your ability to carry a well-balanced conversation. Better yet, you’ll be more like Christ. Ephesians 2:10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

April W Gardner is a multi-published author

and the senior editor of the literary site, Clash of the Titles. 

*The Conversation by artist Arnold Lakhovsky –This image (or other media file) is in the public domain because its copyright has expired.

*Tennis pix–Attribution: Vladsinger at en.wikipedia

About these ads

4 Responses to “Let’s Chat”

  1. Excellent post, April! I’ll never forget sessions in Nursing School on “Therapeutic Listening.” It involved totally engaging with another person to really listen, rephrase back to them what you had just heard so that you could be sure you were “getting” their message, and totally focusing on their needs. It was a real eye-opener, and a lesson in how self-centered our conversations can be when all we’re doing is waiting for an opportunity to express our OWN thoughts! Great words of wisdom, backed up by great verses. :)

    • That’s really neat, Elaine, that they would actually teach a class on this in nursing school. Love the “repeat back” bit. Another great practice to work on!

  2. Excellent! I’m doing the senses post on Listening vs. Hearing next week, and everything really does work together.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

 
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,248 other followers

%d bloggers like this: