Five Ways to Welcome New Chicks

We welcomed two new daughters into our family in the last four years. Our sons married lovely women and we rejoiced to grow our small family. Of course, having raised two boys, I knew little about girls—women, despite, um, being one. The first Christmas shopping was absolutely traumatic. My husband and I thought “sweater” for the new girl. That one time guessing size and style was enough for me; the experience, plus a few other reminiscences from early in my marriage, helped me decide a few things about feathering this mother-in-law’s nest.

1. adapt

My sons cleave to their wives now, and that’s a good thing. But it means I have to share them with other families that, in my case, does not live near by, not to mention different job schedules. We can’t always have holidays together, or even get together as often as we used to. I can moan about it, or I can

2. discover

Other ways of communication and other ways to celebrate and even create new family traditions. Their schedules are different, with work hours, meetings and social activities that make it hard to telephone. I might not always get the hang of texting, or I can be annoyed if they don’t respond to my messages, but I can still write notes, and send brief e-mails to remind them I’m thinking about them and praying for them. We can make up a new special day to commemorate instead of the usual holidays. This is just one way we learn to

3. get along

Despite our different tastes in food or household management. I am delighted by the new recipes and food choices my sons are learning from their wives, and enjoy sharing dishes. It’s intriguing to see all those life lessons put into action. There are likes, dislikes, allergies and favorites to learn not only about food, but routines when we visit each others’ homes. There are times for me to be still and listen and there are times when I can

4. advise

If I am asked, or if I catch a disaster in the works. Teachable moments are different for adults, especially adults that I didn’t raise. I respect the backgrounds and disciplines of my sons’ wives. Not every task must be done the way I do it now. In fact, I have adapted my household and personal chores several times throughout my life. I need to give them room to grow, make mistakes, and gently share what works for me. This is my

5. promise

That I can fulfill from the day of my sons’ births, when I held before God and thanked Him and offered them for His service. I would do my best to raise them as God-fearing gentlemen who would someday leave me and make homes of their own. I promised to be a role model, not a perfect one for sure, but one who would teach them to love the Lord and rest on His grace, and become role models in return.